YES!...I PRAYED FOR HIM TO DIE...PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME

MOTHER AND SON

YES!...I PRAYED FOR HIM TO DIE.

Dont judge me, wait untill you hear me out.

He was a healthy awesome child when I had him

but by age 2 we noticed there was something wrong.

There was no eye contact, he could not talk,

didnt understand instructions,

and so many other bad vibes.

That was when my nightmare started.

I ran from pillar to post seeking solution.

In some places they said he was partially

deaf at others they said it was Autism.

Up untill then I never heard the word Autism.

The information I got about it was

frightening and I saw those signs

clearly in my son.

My life stood still. No school would take

him in as he couldnt settle. Finally

and luckily an Indian lady with

a nursery school took him in,

but my heart broke the Day

I went to pick him up from school

and asked her politely how he was doing.

Her response was i don't know

what to do with him. Am just a

teacher not a psychiatrist.

I cried all the way home. Thoughts

bombarded my mind. Worst of all there

was no answer to the tormenting thoughts. 

An only son, Autism, was it generational?

Or the devil? No answer!

Up until then I was having a swell

time living my life to the fullest...

But with this dilemma I crawled to God .

I attended every Christian gathering,

crusade, vigils; just name it.

I prayed; prayed , cried, fasted ,

sowed seeds but nothing happened.

The years went by and it seemingly got worst.

People were beginning to notice there

was a problem I couldn't hide it any more.

(By the way, don't try hiding your shame if God

doesn't hide it you can't hide it)

My husband was tired.

My mother who was perpetually

encouraging me was tired, I was tired,

exhausted and tired of casting,

binding, fighting and faithing,

so I prayed for Him to die so I could

move on with my life.

(I wanted a short cut)

He didnt die instead he grew.

Seeing God wasnt ready to take him

I went back to God again in prayer,

I repented and continued

from where I stopped .

Running from pillar to post,

church to church.

At one church I was told to go

on one week dry fast with consistent

midnight prayers. At midnight when

I came down to pray I was usually afraid.

One night as I came down for the

prayer routine, I heard a voice say

to me how can you be praying and afraid.

You are afraid because you do not

know the God you are praying to.

At that point I packed up and went on

a quest to know this GOD!

I stayed alone for 2weeks with

only one prayer point.

( God if you are real let me know you.).

I spent more time within those weeks

studying the Word of God ,

and through the pages of the Bible

I came to know this GOD.

After that 2weeks of word immersion

I had peace like I never had

since the ordeal started.

The burden for my son to speak

or get normal left me. I was just at peace

with God and the World.

About 3weeks later we travelled

to England on Holiday.

We were in a shop on Oxford street

when my son that had never spoken

came to me tapped me and asked me

a question. His first words to me

were where is kamsy? He was asking for

His older sister. That was how my

son started talking.

 

One thing led to another; he started

doing things he couldnt do and like

magic caught up with his age mates.

It was like Magic! No! A Miracle!

Today I celebrate God as He turns 18.

There is nothing we dont talk about now.

From His school work to the

Girls that likes him and the ones He likes, lol..

Sometimes I even scold him that he

talks too much, correcting him that

as a gentleman he shouldnt talk much.

How we so quickly forget...smh...

I cant thank God enough for him.

Through my trial with him,

I was reconnected back to God,

I found my purpose in Life,

and my ministry was birthed.

(That is another story for another Day).

Family Word Centre

I encourage you today in your

own trial to fight on. No short cut.

God has not disappeared,

take your eyes off your problem

(if you can) 

Seek Him and He will do the needful

plus much more

Am still praying... During my prayers today 

I PRAYED FOR HIM TO LIVE AND

SHOW FORTH THE GLORY OF GOD.